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What is Ego? How to find your true self?

Dear Visitors, 

Today I want to share and know  your thoughts on Ego.

Let’s start off with briefly exploring what is ego? – maybe your familiar with term but foreign to what it is and how it is formed?

Ego is state that has been developed by us through our thoughts and empty earlier experiences. Once we can agree that ego is the general opinion you have of yourself, or the idea you hold in your mind, when you think about what makes you: You.  Often rooted in the labels we’ve attached to ourselves or the labels we’ve let society determine.

I’m smart, I’m thin, I’m fat, I’m beautiful etc.

Sometimes, it might have been formed from past trauma, or even past pleasures. It may recede and flow with your emotions or spiritual energy in any given time or place.

“Big egos are big shields for lots of empty space.”
– Diana Black

Back in the early 1900s, Freud an Austrian neurologist and the founder of psychoanalysis (1856-1939) formed a theory of personality and proposed that our psyche (mainly referred to our personality) isn’t made up of any one thing. In fact, according to Freud, our personality has three foundational elements: Our id – which is the earlier part of our memory; derives instinctual behaviours and desires, like sex, aggressiveness and hidden memories; others part are our ego and our superego.

Let’s break that down.

In the field of psychology, the id is the unconscious part of your psyche that’s made up of components you might have inherited or learned via basic human instinct. It correlates directly with your immediate needs and urges. For example, a brand-new infant baby is pretty much 100 per cent reliant on primary carers (parents). Comfort from her parents? Food when he’s hungry? That’s all their little selves are focused on – their primary needs.

They have yet to develop any desire for nice clothes or a big bank account – that’s the ego.

Your ego is an idea, an opinion, a fleeting thought in your journey towards self-actualisation. Ego can also be referred as the reality principle, a percieved perception of self, your own thought, value, image of how you see YOU.

Whereas the superego is moral conscience (right and wrong). Your ego stands between you and the clarity you desire to see and be the real you. In his own words, Freud called the ego “the representative of the outer world to the id.”

In Freud’s theory, the ego represents and symbolises a separate sense of reality layered onto the id. The id goes internal and looks inward, based on human instinct and desire. The ego looks outward and perceives the so-called “real world” and layers that back onto you.

An example of this would be the Id desiring a job to meet its basic human needs, the ego then assess the reality – and quizzes you to determine whether you are worthy – suitable- for this job (based on the opinions and thoughts you have on yourself). Followed by the super-ego which takes the moral approach, ‘yes, you should work to up keep yourself, no you shouldn’t – you can seek benefits or help from your family etc.

But here’s the big, transformative shift in understanding that you’ll receive when you begin to study the ego: The ego does not differentiate itself from the id! They become intertwined.

Now the id has formed the need to become reliant (using the example above) on others and doesn’t feel the need to work – hence, the ego (clarity approach) has justified this by the thoughts and opinions formed on this matter. Therefore, both id and ego are now interwind, making the job of the superego harder, tangling you in sticky web.

Love is happy when it is able to give something,” said Osho, “and the ego is happy when it is able to take something” (psychology.com).

This give-and-take nature between the real Self and the ego — light and darkness; unity with love or unity with lack; recognising your Self in others, or creating false divisions between you and those around you — is such a universal part of our perceived reality that we often never stop to question the thoughts in our mind, or the cravings in our soul.

To find your true Self, you must first let go of your false self. This starts with understanding what ego is, in order to begin to release the grip that ego has on you, and that you have on your ego.

In our search for peace and true, for true inner contentment- that is EXACTLY what we should be doing. We must all start to question our sense of self, our claims of ownership, our desire for more stuff or more money or more of whatever it is that you think makes you, YOU.

Watch Deepak Chopra’s video on learning how to find your true self.

Hope this article helps you to take a step back and ask your self some important question about your true self – Who are you?  What is your purpose? What do you want? Why do want it?

Peace and Blessings

Salma@inharmony

Self-Reforming Programme

 

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By Salma

Life Skills Educator/Coach

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